


Thor: The Otaku World

by roryheadmav



Category: Avengers, Thor (2011), Thor The Dark World
Genre: Fun, Gen, Gift Fic, Humor, Mary Sue, On Set Shenanigans, crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-13 17:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryheadmav/pseuds/roryheadmav
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The shooting of Thor: The Dark World has commenced. Tom Hiddleston decides to bring his new girlfriend over. The problem is that she's a diehard anime fan and is notorious for causing trouble wherever she goes. Will they actually be able to finish the movie? Or will it fall to the craziness of the otaku and the other evils of fandoms?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Introduction of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Full credit for this story goes to my niece Patty. I couldn't get any work done yesterday because she was pestering me to do a fic that a 12-year old (meaning she) could read. Essentially, she started feeding me ideas and voila! Here's Chapter 1. This fic poses a number of firsts for me. For one, I've never written anything lower than an M-rating before. I've also never written a Mary Sue (the character of Trix is me and Patty combined. Heck, I'm the writer. I should be in the story too). Thirdly, I've never written a fic with real people in it before. Let me say right off the bat that I'm treating Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston, et al as fictional characters here. Anyway, I must confess that writing just this first chapter has helped ease my tension a bit while editing the coffee table book I'm doing at present. 
> 
> To Patty, here's your fic! Enjoy!

**Thor: The ~~Dark~~ Otaku World**

**By Rory V. Pascual**

 

 

**Chapter 1: The Introduction of Chaos**

 

It was a bright sunny day at Bourne Wood. The first day of filming on "Thor: The Dark World" was to commence. But, prior to the start of shooting, Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston have already been working with the stunt choreographer on a key fight scene for the film.

 

It was this stunt choreographer whom the two actors were griping about as they trudged out of the designated training enclosure. Tom, in particular, was out of breath. Chris frowned at the sight of the darkening bruise on his co-star's arm.

 

"That looks ugly," Chris remarked worriedly. "Maybe you should have the doctor take a look at that."

 

"I'm fine," Tom reassured the other man, although he winced when he touched the bruise in question. "But, why am I getting the impression that Max doesn't like me?"

 

"Nah, I think he's just being a perfectionist. Probably wants the scene to come out well." Even to his own ears, that reasoning sounded very hollow to Chris.

 

For some reason he could not fathom, the stunt choreographer was being particularly hard on Tom. True, Tom was capable of handling the physical aspects of the shooting. But, he was certainly not built like Chris, Ray Stevenson, or the other bulkier actors on set. Then again, even Zachary Levi was having an easy time of it, and he is the newbie on set.

 

Tom noticed how Chris had fallen silent. "Don't worry about me. I just need to keep up with his pace, that's all." He then gave the younger man a mischievous wink. "Besides, the bruises will get me a lot of attention from Trix. I asked permission from Alan if she could come over to watch us film."

 

Chris brightened up at the mention of the lady whom Tom was currently dating. "Oh, she's coming here? I really would like to meet her. Unlike the other women you have dated, you seem particularly cryptic when it comes to her."

 

"Well, Trix is special. I daresay perhaps…unique. But you'll see when she gets here."

 

"HIDDLESTON!"

 

Tom could not help the groan that escaped his lips, hearing the stern voice of Max Steinberg, their stunt choreographer. "Duty calls," was all he could say miserably, as he went back to the training enclosure, picking up the imitation broadsword he had propped up against the fence.

 

Not wanting to leave his co-star alone, Chris followed, choosing to stand near the fence and lean over the railing. He watched as the two men faced each other, their swords raised in their hands.

 

"From the beginning," Max said, and then he charged.

 

Chris grimaced as their broadswords met in a loud clang. But as Max swung his sword upwards, he knocked Tom's blade out of his grasp.

 

Max impatiently picked up the sword and thrust the hilt into the actor's hand. "I told you to tighten that grip!"

 

"His arm's hurt! Take it easy on him!" Chris couldn't resist calling out, seeing how Tom's arm shook at the heavy weight of the sword.

 

"I'm okay! I can do this!" Tom said with a trace of irritation in his voice.

 

However, Chris' comment had the negative effect. Obviously not wanting to be told off, the stunt choreographer attacked Tom with even greater ferocity. Anyone can see that what they were doing was no longer the scene they were required to rehearse. All poor Tom could do was to raise his sword before him and deflect the swings and blows that were being thrown his way. As he slowly backed up, he didn't see the rock that was jutting out of the ground. His heel caught on it and fell over backward on his butt.

 

"TOM!" Chris cried out in horror, seeing the stunt choreographer lift his sword high above his head.

 

Suddenly, a swift blue and silver blur leaped over the fence at his side. There were shocked gasps from everyone on the set who had stopped to watch what was going on. Chris could only blink in shock and awe at the sight of the diminutive lady in a blue jacket with short silver hair who had placed herself between Tom and the demented stunt choreographer. Tom himself was horrified to see that the woman had Max's broadsword gripped tightly in her hand, its _real_ blade cutting into the flesh of her palm.

 

"Damn you!" she hissed painfully under her breath. "Are you supposed to use a real sword while rehearsing a swordfight scene?" She then kicked Max in the gut, sending him sprawling to the ground. Turning to Tom, she extended her uninjured hand to him, clear worry etched on her face, "Are you all right?"

 

"You're asking me? You're the one who's hurt!" he exclaimed, as he allowed himself to be pulled up.

 

She looked at her bleeding hand and grimaced. "Yeah! It hurts like hell too. But it's nothing that a few stitches couldn't remedy."

 

"Let me take care of it." Tom whipped out his handkerchief and proceeded to bind up her hand.

 

As they were talking, Max had already stood up. "Who the fuck are you? Outsiders are not allowed on set."

 

"Hello!" she said, waving a VIP ID with infuriating mockery. "I am a special guest here. Only Kevin Feige and Alan Taylor can kick me out." She then pulled out a Press ID as well. "Oh, and I was able to secure special media privileges with Marvel Studios and Mr. Stan Lee personally. So there." She even stuck her tongue out at him.

 

"I'm taking this to Mr. Taylor," he said threateningly.

 

"Oh, sure, do that. I might even accompany you so that I could tell him how you have put one of his stars at serious risk of permanent physical injury."

 

Max stormed over to her and wagged a threatening finger at her face. "You think you're so great, Missy? How about you and I go at it?"

 

She stared at the man incredulously. "Are you challenging me to a duel?"

 

"Yes! If I win, you get off this set."

 

"Okay. But if I win, not only will you issue a public apology to Tom, you will also not work on any Marvel films in the near future."

 

Tom helplessly waved his hands at the two angry figures before him. "Please, there is no need for both of you to do this."

 

But Max said, "Agreed! Now, choose your sword!"

 

"Don't worry," she remarked flippantly. "I brought my own."

 

As she strode off, Tom followed right at her heels. "Trix, dear, you don't have to do this."

 

"Someone has to put that idiot in his place. Besides, I told you before I'll do anything to protect you. Consider this situation as one such instance that you need my protection."

 

Chris, who had gone to the caterer's truck to get a couple of ice cream cones for him and Tom, greeted the irate woman "Hi!" who in turn only gave him a nod of acknowledgement. "Is that Trix?"

 

"Yup," Tom answered in the affirmative, taking the chocolate and vanilla ice cream cone that was handed to him.  He let out a groan. "Man, this is not good!"

 

"It's not good alright. I mean, I can't believe Max could be so offensive as to actually challenge a woman to a duel. He must be taking the script too seriously. Anyone can see that Trix is no Sif."

 

"That's just it. Trix is _worse_ than Sif. Max doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I've got to put a stop to this."

 

Max suddenly taunted from where he was picking out a good sized broadsword among his weapons, "Hey, Missy! What's taking you so long? Don't tell me you've run away and—"

 

**"GETSUGA TENSHO!"**

 

The two actors stiffened as a strong wind blew past them, missing Max just by a few inches. The sharp gust cut through tall grasses behind the startled stunt choreographer before striking a dilapidated workman's shed. The construction workers barely got out of the way as the wind literally demolished the shed.

 

As Chris stared in horrified silence at the gigantic sword Trix was wielding, he let out a cry as the cone of his ice cream split in two, sending the yummy scoops of strawberry and chocolate falling to the ground.

 

"My ice cream!" he wailed, seeing the ice cream melting into the ground.

 

"Crap! I missed!"

 

Tom stormed over to where Trix was standing. "For heaven's sake, Trix, you shouldn't be using Zangetsu!"

 

"Why not?" Trix pouted petulantly.

 

"Because with a sword that large, you'll end up destroying the entire set, maybe even the whole of Bourne Wood." Tom got down on his knees to poke through her large duffel bag lying on the ground. "I can't believe you brought your sword collection here! Use something smaller. You can still do Getsuga Tensho with a smaller sword, right?" He pulled out the first small blade that he groped with his hand—a slim, black sword. "Here, use this one."

 

A dark eyebrow was raised. Chris felt a chill in his blood, seeing the sparkle in those dark brown eyes. "Are you sure you want me to use that one?"

 

"Yes, you'll cause less damage this way."

 

"Are we going to fight or are you just going to stand there and chat?" Max jeered. "I'll teach you a lesson for attacking a man who is unprepared!"

 

"Shut up, Max! I'm trying to save your life here!" Tom yelled back.

 

"Are you really sure you want me to use that sword, Tom?"

 

"Yes."

 

"If you say so." Tom never saw the maniacal grin on Trix's face.

 

As soon as her hand tightened on the hilt, she disappeared in the blink of an eye. Max barely raised his broadsword in time when she suddenly popped up before him, their blades meeting in a deafening clash.

 

Tom only then realized his mistake. He was about to run toward the combatants, but just as quickly stopped, seeing them fighting fiercely. "Fuck! I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have handed her that sword."

 

Chris was barely listening to what Tom was saying, still mourning as he was over his fallen ice cream. Seeing the ice cream in Tom's hand still untouched, he snatched it out of his co-star's hand and began licking it with a vengeance.

 

Tears welled up in Tom's eyes. "My ice cream…you took my ice cream!"

 

"Consider that payback for what your girlfriend did to my ice cream."

 

"Hold on a minute, will ya?" Trix raised a halting finger before her adversary. She again blinked away and then popped up between the two actors. In her hand, she held a box of Whitman's Sampler. She thrust the box of chocolates into Tom's hand, causing a delightful "Whee!" to escape from her boyfriend's lips. Trix then reached out and grabbed Chris' collar and jerked him down. "Never, _ever_ let Tom cry. Those tears of his are dangerous weapons."

 

Before he could say anything, Trix darted over to Max and resumed their duel.

 

Chris eyed the chocolates hungrily. "Can I have one of those?"

 

Tom hugged the box with absolute greed, unmindful of the fact that there were chocolate smears at the corners of his mouth. "NO!"

 

"What the hell is going on here? The workers told me that you demolished the shed," Director Alan Taylor stormed over to them. He immediately caught sight of the tiny woman putting up a fierce fight against his stunt choreographer. "And who's that?"

 

"My girlfriend, sir," Tom said with an apologetic tone in between chews of chocolate. "I'm so sorry for the trouble."

 

"Actually, it was Max who started it," Chris put in defense. "Max nearly hurt Tom while they were sparring. None of us knew that he was using a real sword. If Trix there hadn't intervened, lord only knows what could've happened. She injured her hand though."

 

There was a look of rapt fascination on Alan's face as he watched the sword fight before him. "And she hurt her hand, you say. But she's quite good, if I do say so myself. I've never even seen anyone move that fast."

 

"Well, you can say that she's sort of 'getting in to character', but in a different way," Tom explained, shrugging. "Trix is a huge anime fan. An otaku and a cosplayer. She doesn't just get _in to_ character; she _becomes_ the character. Right now, she's Kurosaki Ichigo from 'Bleach' in Bankai mode. Poor Max! He doesn't stand a chance."

 

Sure enough, Trix declared, "How about I put an end to this?"

 

Her hands moving faster than the eye can see, she slashed at Max several times before the man could put up a defense. Whistling, Trix laid the sword on her shoulder, just as Max's clothes—including his underwear—fell in pieces on the ground. With a shamed wail, Max ran back to his trailer, the laughter of cast and crew ringing out behind him.

 

Tom and Chris, however, were gazing nervously at their director, who approached the smug-looking woman. Tom, in particular, was already dreading the possibility that he was going to be fired.

 

To their amazement, however, Alan praised, "You…are… _amazing_ , my dear! Where did you learn to fight like that? Who's your teacher?"

 

"Oh, you can say that I spent hours just watching a whole bunch of anime series, that's all," Trix said shrugging. "There are other cosplayers who are much better than me though and—"

 

"I have a proposition for you."

 

As Alan drew Trix closer to him, Chris turned to his co-star who seemed to have held his breath. Snatching a Cherry Cordial out of the Whitman's Sampler, he said, "You can start breathing now, Tom. I think your job is safe."

 

Tom did what Chris said and exhaled in relief. "I'll probably tell Trix to stay for a couple of hours and then send her back to the hotel. She is far too dangerous and—"

 

"Really? Are you sure? Me?" Trix suddenly started asking, her eyes mirroring her delight as she stared up into Alan's happy face.

 

"But of course," Alan confirmed. "In fact, I'll have our lawyers draw up a contract right now."

 

"Contract?" Tom queried in bewilderment. "What contract? Would someone please tell me what's going on?"

 

Giving him an elfish grin and two thumbs up, Trix squealed, "I'm going to be your new stunt choreographer! Isn't that great?"

 

Tom could only slap his hand to his forehead and groan.

 

"Look on the bright side," Chris declared, patting his friend's back reassuringly. "At least, you'll have your girlfriend on set at all times. It'll be fun."

 

Tom looked balefully at the younger actor. "Chris, I hope you don't live long enough to regret those words."

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

 


	2. The Otaku Brainwashing Technique (aka Hiddles’ Fists of Fury)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so late in posting this. The work on the coffee table book that has been hogging a lot of my time, not to mention my brain cells. I wish I could promise to come up with chapters faster, but the editing work has been quite draining. To those who have been wondering about The Avengers/Tiger & Bunny crossover, I'll have some chapters up next month. Sorry about this. Have to wait for Itokufox's pic and my own schedule to become less taxing.

 

 

**THOR: THE ~~DARK~~ OTAKU WORLD**

**By Rory**

**Chapter Two: The Otaku Brainwashing Technique (aka Hiddles' Fists of Fury)**

 

The three days following what everyone has now come to dub simply as "THE Incident" passed by in relative peace and quiet. There have been no further altercations between their bubbly new stunt choreographer and her sullen predecessor. Max did what he was told. Before cast and crew, he apologized not only to Tom, but also to other people whom he had given a difficult time. He was not fired from his job though.

 

When Chris asked Trix why Max was still on set, she just shrugged and said, "I'm not that heartless to deprive a man of his job." Before the actor could laud her for her forgiving nature, she added with an evil smirk. "Besides, we need stunt doubles to beat up, right? I'm assigning him to the Doctor."

 

"The Doctor?" Chris inquired, frowning.

 

"Christopher Eccleston. I certainly can't call you both 'Chris'. We'll all end up getting confused."

 

Chris could only groan and shake his head, already feeling sorry for Max, even if he did deserve it. With Eccleston playing the villain, Max was sure to take much of the pounding during filming of the fight scenes.

 

Surprisingly, Trix was taking a pretty laidback approach to their training. For four hours every morning, they would assemble at the training enclosure and she would put them through katas and sparring sessions using swords, staves and other weapons. Jaimie Alexander particularly loved to spar with their diminutive stunt choreographer.

 

"I don't know how she does it, but I'm actually learning from these sessions," Jaimie remarked. "All our fight scenes in the past were pretty much rehearsed. But with Trix, it's all practicality and spontaneity, like you're really in a fight. I swear if a mugger were to creep up on me, I'd be able to feel his presence before he even gets close. I'm much more alert and in tune with my surroundings than before."

 

Zachary Levi was equally full of praises. All he could say was, "I wish Trix worked with us on 'Chuck.' All the techniques she's been teaching would've helped me tap the secret agent inside me."

 

Only Ray Stevenson was complaining. One afternoon, Ray had fallen to his knees at Chris' feet, sobbing. "Trix wants me to eat more. She insists that I should look more like the Volstagg in the comics. Please ask Tom to tell her to lay off with the food. I'll suffer from indigestion or, worse, a heart attack if this continues."

 

Speaking of Tom, his absence at the training sessions during the past three days was probably the most glaring. While no one commented about it outright, there were murmured comments that Tom may have been more seriously hurt from "THE Incident" than most people believe. Or, as Chris was more inclined to believe, maybe Trix was being her overprotective self and had decided to lock the poor actor up in his trailer lest he fall into bodily harm.

 

So, it was on the fourth day, that everyone paused in the middle of training when they heard the noisy squeak of a trailer door opening. They turned in surprise to see Tom step out of his trailer. The Englishman tilted his head back to look up at the sky and then trained his dazed gaze at his surroundings as though he were beholding an alien landscape. Long fingers ran through the back of his neck going down to his chest, as though confirming that he still existed on this mortal plane.

 

With blank gray eyes, Tom stared for a moment at the figures inside the training enclosure. With a scratch on his head, he trudged across the field and wearily entered the training area. Everyone can see that he did not get any sleep at all. His training tee and pants were rumpled. His long hair—now dyed Loki black—was springing up in all directions, so that he looked like a porcupine. There were also dark circles under his eyes. To further emphasize his lack of sleep, he opened his mouth wide and yawned, so that one can clearly see his uvula vibrating.

 

"What happened to you?" Chris inquired with a raise of one eyebrow.

 

Tom stared blankly at Chris. "What are you doing here?"

 

"Uh…training?"

 

Tom's eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown as he surveyed his surroundings once more. "What happened to my trailer?"

 

"You just walked out of it, remember?" Zach put in helpfully.

 

"You're not Josh." Tom stared back at Zach, his mind clearly not providing the identity of his co-star. He focused his attention on the water trough in the corner. "I really must get back to bed." To everyone's horror, Tom marched toward the trough with the obvious intention of getting into it.

 

Chris, Jaimie, Zach, and Tadanobu Asano—who was fixing the switch on his mace—acted fast. They pulled Tom back before he could step into the water. The sudden jerk caused the holstered belt with its assortment of throwing knives to come loose from his waist.

 

"Hey! Those are mine!" Tom got down on his knees and scrabbled for the bladed weapons that his villainous character was going to use.

 

As the Englishman stood up with his weapons and belt cradled protectively in his arms, Chris slowly asked again, "What happened to you, Tom? We missed you, you know."

 

"You did?" Tom asked blearily, putting the belt back around his waist. "I was under the impression that you thought that I was being coddled by our stunt choreographer."

 

"Nah, that thought was furthest from our minds, right, Chris?" Jaimie said reassuringly. But, Chris could not hide the guilty expression on his face.

 

"Truth to tell, I very much envy, you guys. I spent the past three days just watching anime fight scenes. Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Dragonball… Any memorable fight scenes. If you name one, most likely, I'd have watched it."

 

"Maybe we should be envying you," Zachary put in. "Got to watch any hentai?"

 

"Do you want Trix to kill me?" Tom rebutted, but added with a bit of humor, "I did manage to check some of her yaoi stash though, the pervert. Honestly though, I probably watched enough anime to last me a lifetime, although I have to confess that I am addicted to Tiger & Bunny. I have to watch the movie when it premieres."

 

Tadanobu laughed. "Lend me your anime discs. It's been a long time since I watched something from home."

 

"You are most welcome to them, my friend."

 

"But, why anime?" asked Chris, confused.

 

Trix, who was closing the gate of the enclosure behind her, chimed in, "It's called Otaku Brainwashing."

 

"You were brainwashing Tom with anime?" Jaimie seemed incredulous.

 

"Wouldn't you call that a new kind of torture?" Zach offered the suggestion.

 

Trix quickly shook her head. "No, no. Okay, let me explain. As you already know by now, I've watched all the movies leading up to The Avengers. I won't tell you how many times I watched Thor. But, anyway, the one problem that I had with the fight scenes in both Thor and The Avengers was that they looked very clumsy. The actions were not fluid enough. There was very little focus on form. There were actually moments when Tom looked like he lost his balance when he was swinging that scepter. There were only three people who showed great form, in my opinion, and they were Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner. Of course, you can only expect perfection from Robert and… HEY, where do you think you're going?" Trix swiftly reached out and grabbed her sleepy boyfriend's arm before he could march back to the trough. "To continue, anime—and I must also include tokusatsu—do have fight scenes, but they always emphasize good form." She turned to the Japanese actor. "I'm sure you know what I'm talking about Tadanobu-san."

 

"Yes, Trix-san," Tadanobu nodded in solemn agreement. "You are absolutely correct."

 

"All cosplayers watch the anime closely so that he or she can be more attentive to his or her form. I was hoping that letting Tom do an anime marathon would have the same effect…and more." Trix added that last with a hint of mystery that only caused a chill to run up Chris' spine.

 

"So how would we know if this Otaku brainwashing of yours worked?" Chris asked dubiously.

 

"How about a demo?"

 

Before anyone could stop her, Trix twirled on her toe and swept her leg up in a high kick, aiming squarely for the British actor's head.

 

"TOM!" Jaimie cried out warningly.

 

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as they watched that booted food approach its target. Before it could strike, however, Tom's gray eyes suddenly flashed to alertness. With equal grace, he spun around as well and blocked it with a perfect high kick of his own.

 

"KUSO!" Tadanobu declared, awestruck.

 

"Holy shit!" Zach gasped out.

 

Tadanobu grimaced at his fellow actor. "That's what I just said."

 

"Let me sleep, Trix," Tom growled low.

 

"No, not yet," she said with an emphatic shake of her head.

 

Lowering her leg, Trix bombarded Tom with a flurry of punches too fast for the eyes can see. Tom, however, easily deflected them with just as fast kicks. Both were so good that neither of them can land a solid blow on the other.

 

Grinning devilishly, Trix turned to the watching actors and gave them only one simple order. "ATTACK!"

 

Chris quickly shook his head in dissent, especially after seeing the murderous gleam in Tom's eyes. "Uh, no, I don't think that's a good idea."

 

"YAAAAAAH!" roared Zach as he charged at the Brit with his saber.

 

Tom, however, made a quick sidestep, coiled his arm around Zach's sword arm and tore the blade out of his grasp. Before Zach realized what was happening, Tom had gotten him down on his knees in a painful armlock.

 

Tadanobu rushed forward to help Zach, but making sure that the spikes of his mace remained locked inside the main ball. The Japanese actor regretted his decision, however, when Tom twisted his body to the side—releasing Zach as he did so—and blocked the mace's descent with one of his throwing knives. Before Tadanobu could get some distance between them, Tom landed a hard elbow in his gut.

 

Seeing her beleaguered co-stars in trouble, Jaimie rushed forward to help as well, brandishing her staff. As she lunged at the not-so-sane Englishman, Tom jerked another knife from his belt and used it to block Jaimie's thrusts and parries.

 

As Chris looked on in a combination of horror and awe, he did not notice Trix sidle up to him. "Come on, Chris. Don't tell me you don't want to test yourself against him. Afraid that Thor won't measure up to his little brother?"

 

Chris glared at Trix, taking Mjolnir in his hand. "I'll show you who's the hero in this movie."

 

But, as he took a single step forward, five throwing knives landed in the ground a few inches from his feet. Shocked, all he could do was yell "GOD DAMN IT, TOM! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?"

 

Tom was too busy fighting Jaimie to reply. In the end, he grabbed the staff when the actress thrust it right at his chest. Using his superior weight, he brought the staff down hard on the ground, sending Jaimie flying through the air.

 

It just so happened that Ray was among the onlookers watching the fight inside the training enclosure. Great in stature, he was trying in vain to be unobtrusive. To his dismay, Trix's sharp eyes focused on him.

 

"Ray, what're you doing here?" Trix inquired with a hint of menace. "Aren't you supposed to be at the cafeteria eating those turkey sandwiches?"

 

Ducking behind the protective cover of the cameraman who had the presence of mind to film the fight, Ray cried, "I'm not eating your turkey sandwiches! Hell with it! I'm not eating PERIOD!"

 

"Well, if you don't want to turn into an adorable tubby like the real Volstagg, how about you come in here and help Tom train?"

 

Ray shook his head strongly, especially after seeing the Englishman send Zach and Tadanobu falling to the ground with solid strikes to the sternum. "I'm not ready to die yet!"

 

"CHICKEN!"

 

Tom watched with slightly unfocused eyes as his friends got up and gathered around Chris. "Guys, listen. Let's just stop this, okay? I just want to get some sleep. Is that too much to ask?"

 

Unfortunately for him, payback was on everyone's minds, especially Chris who almost got skewered.

 

"It's a big mistake to attack him individually," Chris told his fellow actors as they formed a huddle. "I say we attack him all together."

 

"That wouldn't be fair," Jaimie commented. "I mean, he's just one guy. Besides, like he said, he just wants to sleep."

 

"Yeah, one guy who's been brainwashed with anime. Tom fights like Son Goku," Tadanobu said with a wince as he rubbed his aching chest.

 

"Well, he can throw a mean punch, but that doesn't mean he could do the Kamehameha," Zach argued back. "I agree with Chris. Let's go for it."

 

Jaimie could only shake her head. "I hope you guys know what you're doing."

 

They all straightened up and formed a formidable line in front of Tom, who eyed them warily. With fierce roars, they charged collectively at the actor.

 

But then, Tom changed his stance, with one leg behind him in readiness. Making a rolling motion with his palms, he started gathering bright green energy in the empty space between them until he was cupping a large, sparking ball.

 

"I said…LET…ME…SLEEP!"

 

Suddenly, Tom threw the energy ball at his co-stars. Zach, Jaimie and Tadanobu immediately jumped out of the way, falling face first on the ground. Chris was not so fast. As he ducked, he still felt the energy ball shred and burn the back of his clothes as it passed a few inches from him.

 

At that exact moment that Tom released the energy ball, Anthony Hopkins and Idris Elba were walking past the training enclosure already dressed in their golden costumes, heading for the cafeteria for breakfast.

 

"IDRIS! SIR TONY, LOOK OUT!" Trix cried out in warning, seeing the energy ball zooming straight for them.

 

"SHIT!" Idris exclaimed as he threw himself onto the ground, completely forgetting about the older man beside him.

 

Surprisingly, a bright smile formed on Sir Tony's face at the sight of the approaching projectile. Gripping Gungnir in the middle of the shaft like a baseball bat, he swung it hard, the staff striking the energy ball with a deafening crack. As everyone looked on with mouth agape, Sir Tony sent the energy ball hurtling up into the sky, where it exploded in a shower of colorful green sparks.

 

The cameraman, who was filming the proceedings, dashed off. "ALAN, ALAN! CHECK OUT THIS DAMNED FANTASTIC FOOTAGE!"

 

All the actors, meanwhile, stared at the senior actor, who simply brushed the dust off his regal robes. Trix was ecstatic, running toward him.

 

"Sir Tony, that was amazing! Where'd you learn to do that?"

 

"The benefit of years of experience," Sir Tony said sagely. "An old man like me has to be prepared for whatever my younger co-stars are going to do, although I must admit that I never expected to be hit with a spirit ball."

 

Tadanobu was outraged. "You taught Tom how to do the Kamehameha?"

 

"Nah! He learned it himself!"

 

Chris, who was scorched around the edges, yelled furiously, "We could've died, you know."

 

"I have got to learn how to do that," Zach said excitedly though.

 

"Me too," Jaimie agreed just as eagerly.

 

"We're all going to die if you learn that technique," Idris muttered under his breath, as he picked himself up.

 

"Uh, children? Don't forget you're supposed to be playing Asgardians," Sir Tony pointed out to them. "They don't use magic. Only Loki and the Dark Elves will be using magic in the film."

 

"Oh, man!" Zach grumbled. "Now, I want to be a Dark Elf."

 

"We can still ask Tom to teach us," Tadanobu suggested.

 

"Speaking of that bloody bastard, where the hell did he go?" Chris asked, looking around. "I have a bone to pick with him."

 

A sharp whistle at the distance caught their attention. Christopher Eccleston, who just arrived on set with his bags, was standing under a great oak tree. Grinning, he pointed above him.

 

"What have you got there, Doctor?" Trix asked.

 

The actors and Trix approached him to see what he was pointing at. As they looked up, they saw Tom curled up comfortably in a tree branch, having made a soft bed of broadleaves for himself. He was purring contentedly as he slept in blissful peace. A butterfly was even clinging to his ebony hair at his temple like a pretty barrette.

 

"What's Tom doing up in that tree?" the Doctor inquired quizzically.

 

Chris could barely stifle his groan as Trix giggled and replied, "Lokitty!"

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

 

 

 

 

 


	3. The Army Cometh!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The film needs an army. Nuff said!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if there are any errors in this chapter. I need to get this out before I completely bury my head in rush deadlines for next week. :(

**THOR: THE ~~DARK~~ OTAKU WORLD**

**Copyright October 6, 2012 By Rory**

**Chapter Three: The Army Cometh!**

 

It would have been a funny sight, seeing a rather contrite Tom tailing a snorting Chris all over the set. But then, anyone who did not know what had transpired earlier in the day would not be amused to see the Englishman following the Australian around with a pair of sharp scissors.

 

Already fed up, Chris whirled on his heels and yelled, "Stop following me! Shoo, shoo!" He waved both hands in strong dismissal.

 

"Come on, Chris!" Tom said in a wheedling tone. "Just give me a few minutes to get the split ends out of your hair!"

 

"They are NOT split ends; you burned the tips of my hair! In case you've forgotten, you not only tried to skewer me, you almost succeeded in having me cremated…ALIVE…with that damned Kamehaha!  

 

A most adorable pout formed on Tom's lips. "Kamehameha," he corrected. "I didn't know I could do that technique, honest."

 

"Well, don't do it again!"

 

"But Trix said I need to do it in the movie."

 

"Definitely not in a scene with me!"

 

Chris turned to stalk off, but then he heard a soft sob behind him. "If you're not going to forgive me, I'm gonna cry."

 

Frowning, Chris looked cautiously back at his co-star to see him nibbling pitifully on the scissors' eye ring, tears filling Tom's blue eyes. For some very strange reason, he seemed to see tiny baby's breath blossoms flying around the actor. And his heart…it feels like it wants to succumb…to something…

 

"Don't you ever, ever make Tom cry," he suddenly remembered Trix's warning.

 

Groaning miserably in abject defeat, Chris exclaimed, "Alright, alright! I forgive you! Just…don't cry."

 

Chris let out a grunt as Tom caught him in a tight hug. "I love you, Brother!"

 

"Yeah, yeah! I love you too," the Australian mumbled, patting his co-star on the head.

 

Out of the corner of their eye, they saw Alan marching over to Trix, who was supervising the sword training of Christopher Eccleston. Curious as to what was up, the two men followed their hardworking and dedicated director.

 

"Trix, we have a problem," Alan announced grimly. "I've been looking at the extras whom Max hired to play warriors and we just don't have enough people. Although we can cheat using computer animation, I prefer that we make the battle scenes realistic."

 

"Well, if you want to make the battle scenes realistic," Trix began, "I'd like to have real, everyday people become warriors. I mean, come on! Can you honestly tell me that all Asgardians are that buff? Seriously, I think Hollywood discriminates against certain body types. Even our Volstagg is buff. He should be fat and lovable!" She caught Ray trying to sneak past them. "Don't think I'm finish with you, Ray!"

 

With a low growl, Ray just flipped her the bird.

 

Alan said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't call it discrimination exactly. Of course, let's not forget the rigors of filming, doing stunts. They have to be healthy."

 

"Which most normal people are and can do, given the proper motivation and training. Besides, you'll be surprised what the everyday Joe and Jane are capable of." Trix then put in, "I'll tell you what. I'll get you your army, but it will consist of men and women of my choosing."

 

"How soon can you get them?"

 

Trix checked her watch. "Early tomorrow morning. They'll be here."

 

The Doctor stared at the stunt choreographer. "You can get that many people in such a short amount of time? Even an agency can't work that fast."

 

Trix grinned from ear to ear as she gave them the thumbs up. "Don't worry. You'll see tomorrow."

 

As she stomped off determinedly to her office, Chris looked at Tom in concern. "Should I be worried?"

 

Tom shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know. Maybe."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was at cock crow of the following day when everyone on the set was awakened by the rumble of car engines and the honking of car horns. Chris almost stumbled out of his trailer at the racket. Tom was rubbing his knuckles over his eyes and yawning loudly as he trudged over to his co-star's side.

 

As cast and crew alike assembled on the field, they were stunned to see men and women in a wide array of costumes descend from the parked vehicles.

 

"Oh…my…god!" Zach declared in awe, grinning like a child. "Are we having a cosplayer's convention?"

 

Tadanobu was in raptures. "Kamen Riders…"

 

Jaimie was gaping at the ladies dressed in skimpy gold Saint Seiya armor. One could even say that she was drooling. "I'm going to get the props department to make me armor like that."

 

Tom was pointing out anime characters to a poleaxed Chris. "Oh goodie! We've got ninjas from Konoha. A lot of Narutos and Sasukes. Those guys are Shinigami from Bleach. I think those ladies are dressed as the Shinsengumi from either Gintama or Hakuoki. But I'm not sure though. We have bad boys from Beelzebub as well. Hey, we've got Super Saiyans too! Look at that kid over there. Isn't he cute? He looks just like Vegeta."

 

"Tom," Chris said, utterly bewildered, "I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

 

Trix pushed between the two men excitedly, hurrying over to a thin, geeky looking young man with buck teeth and large wire-rim glasses who just got down from an Impala.

 

"Calvin!" she greeted the man with a tight hug. "I thought you were cosplaying Yashiro Isana from K this year. What are you doing dressed as Sam Winchester?"

 

"When my partner and I found out that Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki were guests at the London Anime Con this year, we had to go and show off the Impala I just remodeled." Calvin grinned in the direction of his partner, a chubby young man dressed in a rather tight version of Dean's jacket. "Why? Is there going to be a problem?"

 

Trix shook his head. "No, no problem. But you have to prepare to switch characters. I'll definitely need to pair you up with The Doctor. Basically, you'll be playing Dark Elves, so Christopher Eccleston has to learn offensive and defensive style magics."

 

Christopher Eccleston said beggingly, "I entrust myself into your most capable hands."

 

"I can manage that. Not a problem," Calvin reassured the actor with a toothy smile. He then waved to the crowd that had gathered. "I got everyone, just as you wanted. You're lucky there are two conventions going on. I got the guys from the London Anime Con at The Rocket Complex at the London Metropolitan University. The others are from Eirtakon at The Helix in Dublin. Is this enough people for you?"

 

"Not sure yet," Trix remarked. "I have to see what these guys are capable of." She whirled to the actors assembled behind her. "You guys better get dressed. I need your help to assess everyone's capabilities."

 

"Isn't that dangerous?" Chris asked apprehensively.

 

Trix rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Chris. I'll make sure that you and Tom have the safest task."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

True to her promise, Trix had Chris and Tom manning the registration table. Actually, it was Chris who has the easier task of taking down the real names of their extras while Tom made a separate list of the characters they have cosplayed in the past as well as the character they were dressed as on set. Chris jumped out of his skin when there was another explosion at the training field, which was immediately followed by hoots of glee from Zach and Tadanobu and an uncharacteristic high-pitched scream from Ray.

 

"YOU HAVE GOT TO SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT!" Zach cried excitedly.

 

Not too far from them, Jaimie was manning the table for those cosplayers who want to enlist with the props department. Her jaw had dropped at a guy dressed as a Gundam robot. "Are you kidding me? This isn't metal?" she exclaimed as she reached out to touch an arm. "My god, it really is hard rubber!"

 

"What's our tally so far, Tom?" Chris inquired of his partner.

 

"We actually have a pretty well-rounded bunch," Tom replied. "We've got Shinigami, Samurai and Ninjas who can play Dark Elves or as warriors in the Einherjar. We also have some NEXTs. I really should ask that guy who cosplayed Kotetsu to teach me the Hundred Power. We also have a bunch of Alchemists who can conjure up armor and other stuff. Since we do have a lot of guys capable of offensive magics, we thankfully have several Kekkaishi who can erect spirit barriers and minimize the damage to the environment so to speak."

 

"Hello!" a sultry voice greeted them.

 

Both actors turned to see a slender, but well-built young man dressed in a sexy all-black leather ensemble straight out of a kinky gay S&M magazine. He even reached out and teasingly caressed Tom's cheek, which earned a protest of "HEY!" from Trix who was then running among the extras with clipboard in hand.

 

"Uhm…Hard Gay, I presume," Tom asked, grinning sheepishly.

 

"In the flesh."

 

"You will be absolutely perfect as a Dark Elf," Chris quickly jotted down before his co-star could get molested any further. "NEXT!"

 

The next applicant was a cute little boy with dark brown hair, wearing a large pair of eyeglasses, and dressed in a black kimono and dark blue hoari that was draped over his shoulders. He was so adorable, he reminded the Australian of his own daughter India. "And who are you playing, little one?"

 

A sweet blush went up the boy's cheeks as he shyly stammered, "Uhm…er…Nura Rikuo."

 

Trix's head went up at that reply. Hurrying over to them, she asked the child, "You're cosplaying Rikuo-kun? Does this mean you have your own Hyakki Yako?"

 

"Haki wako?" asked Chris quizzically.

 

"Hyakki Yako," Tom corrected him patiently. "It means 'Night Parade of a Hundred Demons.'"

 

The little boy nodded. "Yes, but I can't control them all that well yet."

 

"Show us," Trix urged the child.

 

As the two men looked on, the child aged into a handsome young man right before their eyes, the back of his head extending so that it was as large as a gourd. But what shocked them more was the sight of the formidable demons behind him. Chris almost fell out of his chair when Kappa jumped on top of his table. Tom laughed at his co-star while he cradled a Bakeneko on his lap.

 

"Awesome! I've just met a guy who cosplays Natsume and he has his own Yuujinchou," Trix said delighted. "We now have the demons of Muspelheim covered." She exchanged high fives with the boy. "Listen, if you have that much trouble controlling them, I'll be very happy to take them off your hands."

 

To Chris' trepidation, the Kappa had curled up on Tom's lap as well. The Englishman asked, "Can I keep these two with me?"

 

"GUYS, GUYS! TAKE A LOOK AT THIS ONE!"

 

Jaimie hurried over to their table, leading a towering gentleman—who stood a good number of inches taller than Chris—dressed in very familiar armor.

 

"Oh my!" Tom said in awe, truly impressed. "Sauron!"

 

Chris leaned over, unable to stop himself from touching that formidable armor. "Fantastic! How did you make this?"

 

"He's a long-standing member of the British Artist Blacksmith Association," Jaimie explained. "He specializes in suits of armor as well as in the forging of trinkets."

 

As she said this, the Sauron cosplayer dropped a ring into Chris' palm.

 

"What's this?" Chris asked, as he slipped it onto his ring finger.

 

Suddenly, a change seemed to come over the Australian. As Trix and Jaimie looked on in mixed shock and amusement, Chris pushed the Kappa and the Bakeneko off of Tom's lap. He then plunked Tom on his own lap, his large hands groping the Englishman's body.

 

"Chris, what're you doing?" Tom asked in growing alarm, only to burst into giggles when Chris' fingers started fondling his chest. "Stop! That tickles!"

 

Trix's dark eyebrows went up as Chris hissed in an eerie voice, "MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS!"

 

Her hand darted out and grabbed Chris' wrist, jerking the ring off his finger. As if waking from a daze, Chris looked blinkingly at the two scowling women before him, and then at Tom sitting on his lap. Realizing what he was doing, he quickly dislodged his co-star from his lap, sending poor Tom falling on the ground at his feet.

 

"Oww! Why did you do that for, you Aussie pervert?"

 

"Who are you calling a pervert?"

 

Trix ignored the two actors and instead turned to the Sauron cosplayer. "What is this?" she asked, raising the ring between her thumb and index finger.

 

Beneath his helm, the Sauron cosplayer answered in a deep, bone-chilling voice, "The Ring of Thorki."

 

Realization dawned upon Trix. A very evil grin forming on her face, she quickly pocketed the ring. "I'm keeping this. We might have use for this later on."

 

"What is the Ring of Thorki?" Chris asked in abject bewilderment.

 

Tom somehow managed to get back into his chair. Glaring at the Australian, all he said simply was, "You probably wouldn't want to know the answer to that, Chris."

 

Having heard about the band of merry cosplayers that have invaded the set, Sir Tony decided to drop by, still dressed in a comfortable silk robe and bearing a cup of coffee.

 

"My! So many talented young people here today!" he said, not hiding his pleasure at the sight of the cosplayers in their costumes.

 

Calvin—who was then supervising the group of magic users—let out a gasp, his eyes widening at the sight of the distinguished British actor. "Oh my god! It's Dr. Hannibal Lecter!" To all the other cosplayers, he shouted, "Everyone! Pay your obeisance to the great Dr. Lecter!"

 

Before Chris, Tom and Jaimie could react, the cosplayers prostrated themselves to the ground and bowed repeatedly before Sir Tony, intoning solemnly, "WE ARE NOT WORTHY!"

 

Beaming, Sir Tony waved to them, much like the Pope greeting his flock. "Rise, my peons! I expect all of you to do a good job on this film!"

 

As everyone let out raucous cheers of "FOR ASGARD!," Chris nudged Tom in the side, whispering, "Tony looks like he loves all the attention."

 

Tom could not help but chuckle. "You can say that again."

 

Alan looked absolutely pleased as he went over to his stunt choreographer. "Excellent work, Trix, at finding all of these wonderful, talented cosplayers! But we still have a problem. Although we now have a great group of magic users, we need more of the average type of extras. You know, sort of to fill up an entire army for battle scenes."

 

"So you'll need the more hack and slash, brawling, do-or-die type of warrior this time," Trix remarked. "Sure I can manage that. Don't worry."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was mid-afternoon when Chris, Tom and the others finished registering all the cosplayers.

 

As the sun began to set, they suddenly heard the noisy drone of what could only be buses. Because of the increasing volume of the noise, they can only assume that there were a lot of such heavy vehicles. Sure enough, their eyes widened at the sight of the long line of buses that rolled down the hill. To make matters worse, Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" began playing over the vehicles' loudspeakers, accompanied by the rousing, lusty, albeit off-tune voices of the people—most of them women—riding inside.

 

"What in the world?" Chris exclaimed to Trix, seeing close to a hundred buses making their way down the road heading toward the set. "Where did you get so many extras?"

 

Trix grinned broadly at a bemused Tom beside her. "Tomblr Army! Ehehehe!"

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

 


End file.
